9/11 reflections, free speech, and miscellany

If it had not been for our 'news' media, I would have given the anniversary of 9/11 barely a thought. Unfortunately, the wall-to-wall maudlin coverage made any kind of amnesia impossible. Don't get me wrong. I will always remember the date and what happened. It is one of the three dates in my life I will always remember what I was doing, where I was, and who was with me at the time. The other dates were JFK's assassination and the Challenger explosion. However, our reactions to the events politically, socially and individually are to my mind....excessive. Yes, I think excessive is exactly the word to describe the responses.

The year after I was working in an office and a young woman I worked with (young enough to have been my daughter) mentioned her fear, engendered and driven by 9/11 that her 3 year old daughter wouldn't have a chance to grow up but would be murdered by terrorists. Why was she so afraid? In this area the child had a better chance of dying in a traffic accident, a house fire, being hit by lightening, or in a flood or tornado than as a result of terrorism. Or by getting shot in a gang cross-fire. Others in the office expressed similar fears. I don't think any of them cared for my observation that the event and the responses to it marked an amazing lack of American backbone. That was putting my bewilderment and disgust rather baldly. However, it does reveal an inability to put the event into some kind of perspective and an inability to make reasonable assessments of risk.

Worse, our current federal government has encouraged this unreasoning attitude. In the name of security and the "War on Terror" we have seen our Constitution shredded, our executive branch deciding that the law is only advisory when it pertains to the executive branch while it is mandatory for everyone else. We have seen our President and his appointed officials and members of his party justify an unreasonable foreign policy, conduct a half-assed war that has cost more American lives that 9/11 itself, and drain our treasury of funds that could be put to much better use at home all in the name of security. I don't know about others but I DO NOT FEEL SAFER. In fact, I feel more threatened by those who claim to be protecting me. They can do anything by simply invoking 9/11 and we have let them get away with it. All we need to be cowed into unthinkingly acquiescing to more inroads on our freedom is a raised threat level or unsubstantiated stories of suspected terror plots.

Watching CNN today, I had an interesting epiphany on matters of free speech. Mainly, how much, as a history professor I knew used to say, it is honored in the breech than in the practice. On the one hand we have those who are protesting Columbia University's invitation to Mahmoud Ahmadinajad, President of Iran, to speak. I, for one, have no desire to hear him speak. I don't know what real power he wields in Iran or how much influence he really has with the religious leaders who seem to be the real architects of Iran's policies. I don't care that he is a 'holocaust denier' and thinks that Israel shouldn't exist. I don't think his opinion is particularly weighty. And I don't see any reason to get into a lather about his speaking to any audience.

We supposedly value free speech until of course it counters our deeply cherished opinions, beliefs or prejudices. Then all hell breaks loose. We have had episodes in our history when certain beliefs could not be published. The Alien and Sedition Acts of the late 18th century made it a crime to publish anything critical of the President and most officials of the federal government. The glaring exception was the Vice President, at the time one Thomas Jefferson who was on the outs with President Adams and most of his administration. In the South and many border states before 1860, any one who spoke or wrote against slavery risked their lives and in some cases lost those lives. During a large part of the 20th century the surest way to scuttle unpleasant ideas was to tar their proponents with the brush of 'Communism."

We have a long history of dealing with unpleasant people and ideas by innuendo, slur, insult. It is far easier, as so many of our so-called pundits have found, to use insult instead of intelligence, aggressive banter instead of argument, attack the person instead of the idea. If you don't like proposals for reforming medical care and its funding, all you have to do is raise the specter of 'socialized medicine.' And you don't even have to justify the label or present a coherent argument. If you don't like a foreign regime or leader all you have to do is charge that they support terrorism. The beauty of this tactic is you don't even have to specify the brand of terrorist or provide evidence. A terrorist, after all, is a terrorist, is a terrorist.

seasons, work, weather, projects

It has been almost three weeks since I have last put anything on this. I have been too frustrated, angry and depressed to write anything. In my last entry I thought I had turned a corner at work and was getting adjusted. But the last two weeks had me wondering if I was ever going to get to such a point. I could not even seem to handle the basics. Made too many mistakes and cost the others too much time correcting them. And they were mistakes I should have been past more than a month ago. I had a long talk with my supervisor and she made some suggestions I hope work out. I must change the mechanics, the routine I have been using. I am going to give it a try. It seems to have worked the last two days.

I finished my sister-in-law's quilt two weeks ago. I just haven't downloaded the pictures yet or I would have them on here. I still haven't given it to her. We seem to miss each other. I have moved my mother's great-grandmother's jacket to the front burner. Hope to finish it before the end of the year. I have four figures to finish and then I have to applique them onto the jacket.

I can already feel the change of seasons and see it in the trees. A few are beginning to turn color and others are getting that rusty tinge to the green as it mixes with orange, red, or yellow. However, the rain we have had lately and the high humidity is unsettling. It is almost a spring pattern and it doesn't fit with the sudden heat induced thunderstorms of summer. I hope it gets drier before snow comes or we will be buried.

grousing

Well, it's raining again here in northern Indiana. Our area wasn't too badly hit this last week. However, Gary to the northwest and Kouts to the southeast were. Large areas lost electricity. Three days later tens of thousands were still without service. We had a dry hot spring and now that the dry period is here we are getting the rain. Go figure.

I am about two weeks away from finishing my sister-in-laws quilt. The anniversary was celebrated two weeks ago. I just told her that her quilt needed a bit more work. At least they could enjoy the sheets and pillowcases on which mom put a crocheted edging.

We have both been grousing lately about not being able to find what we want in our local stores. We have wonderful shopping generally; but, more and more when we go looking for something particular we have a hard time finding it. When she looked for the sheet/pillowcase set to edge (and when she looked for earlier sets for a couple of my other siblings) what she found did not satisfy her at all. She couldn't find the colors she wanted and had to settle for something other than what she wanted. The hems were shoddily done and the pillowcases had mismatched seams. These would once have been sold at a cut rate as seconds but not any more. Then she couldn't find the color of crochet thread she wanted and again had to settle for something else.

I tried to find an afghan hook in a smaller size than I had on hand. The Hancock Fabrics we once had has closed and Walmart is getting out of the needlecraft and fabric business. Target and K-mart did that a long time ago. That leaves Michaels as the only chain store for needlework but they have reduced their crochet thread and shifted their stocks of yarn to emphasize the new 'funky' yarns (you know--the eyelash, and fur lines) that I really don't like to crochet with. The only afghan hood available was in a set of hooks for beginning crocheters and was the same size as the ones I already have. Once some many years ago I stopped shopping at Michaels because they shifted to a fad needlework I didn't like. I guess I will have to stop shopping there again. Luckily we have a local yarn shop, Sheep's Clothing, that did carry what I needed. I love their yarns but they are pricey.

Many, many years ago I read economists who thought that the trends toward automation and computerization would create a commercial world in which anyone could easily get anything almost custom made for them. What a crock. What has happened is we have an economy dominated by chain stores in which only those items which will sell zillions of units are carried. A recent guest poster on the Time Goes By blog noted the difficulty finding shampoo for her gray hair. She finally found one brand on the bottom shelf and bought both of the bottles that were left. Anyone who colors her hair or is blond, brunette, or red-headed can find all kinds of products. But not someone who refuses to buy into the youth orientation which demands that the gray haired cover the gray and pretend the years haven't passed.

What we have is an economy that serves the young and has no interest in anyone else. TV is dominated by the 18 to 34 crowd. We have complained for sometime about how uninteresting the offerings are. We either saw it and don't want to see it again, never wanted to see it in the first place, or liked it so well we can watch our own copy without commercial interruption. And we have been doing a lot of that last option lately.

I guess I am really very tired of an economy which doesn't meet my needs, doesn't see any profit in meeting my needs and doesn't even provide suitable alternatives. I don't want to settle for what those overpaid bastards in the corporate offices offer and be grateful for it. I am not in the least grateful. Most of the time I am pretty damn pissed.

I can't believe it has been two weeks since my last post. Last month was incredibly frustrating. I felt as though I couldn't do anything right. What I learned about my job seemed to get lost in the doing. I realize that have to be faster and more accurate than I have been ever before and that I am dealing with a complex computer system that makes mistakes almost inevitable. But so many mistakes???? I wonder too if I am putting too much pressure on myself. I know I am a would be perfectionist. "Would be?" you ask. Well I am a perfectionist who knows the futility of that on an intellectual level but I still get angry and frustrated with myself when I am not perfect. The problem is how to strive for perfection without beating myself up emotionally when I am not. In my needlework I often joke that I have never needed a 'humility block' because I have made plenty of inadvertent mistakes. The difference is that my mistakes at work are noticed while those in the needlework will rarely, if ever, be noticed.

Well, yesterday was a good day even if it was slow. Only one small and easily correctable mistake and everything was on an even keel at the end.

My brother's and sister-in-law's 30th anniversary was last weekend. I did not get her quilt done in time. I need another three weeks to finish. I told my mother we would invite her out to lunch and give her the quilt then. Then I really must finish the little embroidered figures for Mom's jacket. I have only been working on them, in between other things, for two years.

Of course, everyone needs a break now and then. Mine consisted of reading the last Harry Potter and watching 300 and The Fountain. The last was strange. I don't know what to make of it and it certainly was not what I expected. I will have to see it again sometime and try to get a handle on it. The photography was wonderful as were the effects in 300. And, as a sometime student of history, I found a good deal to quibble with regarding 300. First, the Spartans didn't start the war with Persia. That was started a generation before by the Athenians when they sent aid to the Greek city states on the Anatolian (present day Turkey) coast and islands when they rebelled against their Persian masters. The Persian Emperor Darias was not pleased and decided the Athenians needed to be taught a lesson. Unfortunately for him, he lost the battle at Marathon and died before he could try a second time and his son, Xerxes, was left with the task of disciplining the Greeks.

I find the words put into the characters' mouths about freedom somewhat ironic. After all, the Spartan economy was based on slave labor. How else could the Spartan men be dedicated soldiers? The film showed the young Leonidas killing a wolf as a rite of passage to manhood. But it failed to mention that another such rite of passage was the deliberate murder of a Helot, as the state owned serfs (slaves) were called, in hand-to-hand combat without being caught in the act. But then I have become disenchanted with our semi-religious cant on the theme of freedom. I often have to ask: freedom for what? Freedom from what? Freedom for whom? I suspect that those of our leaders who use the word most frequently would rather those questions not be asked or answered.

I have other quibbles concerning the film. And in spite of them, I rather liked it.

new job, sister-in-law's quilt

I have been a bit slack about getting on here. More focused on starting that new job I mentioned. The only thing I hate worse than job hunting is starting a new job, or, as all too frequently in the past, a new academic program. There is always such a level of uncertainty. Are you going to like the job? Are you going to like the environment and the people? How difficult will it be to learn the job? So the last two and a half weeks have been somewhat nerve wracking and anxious. So far it has not been bad. At least I can say I am not bored. There is so much new stuff to learn and I sometimes feel that my head is stuffed with mush.

I have never had any great difficulty learning anything before. But I find I am a little slower that I used to be. And I don't remember things as quickly and accurately as I did. I forgot my passwords the first day and had to get new ones set up. I know they say we shouldn't write them down but even passwords I think I will remember easily I mess up. Maybe it will get easier and with the exercise I will be able to keep them in mind more readily.

One thing I liked about the business when I went in for my interview was there was no one under the age of 40 there. It was different during training. Almost all of the other trainees were high school juniors and seniors. But they were all assigned to other branches. I don't mind working with younger people. However, for the last several years I have felt that my age has been against me. It is as though all my education and experience counts for nothing.

To sum up the last two weeks: I am hopeful and I find I am enjoying my job. I hope it works out well.

It goes with out much comment that I have done little in the way of needlework. The quilt I am constructing for my sister-in-law will not be done before the 30th anniversary festivities. I will simply give my brother his quillow and show his wife the quilt blocks I have done. I think I have about another two months work on the quilt to finish. Above are two of the blocks. I am using the eyelash yarn to create a fur trim for the jacket. Both are further along now. I have completed the trim on all but one of the figures and am looking for cute buttons and beads to add. I found a really cute bead shaped like a red bow that I put on the second figure. It makes a nice bow tie. I will have to take some up-to-date pictures because all of the blocks are much further along than these show.

This second quilt is really a work in progress. I wander into a shop and suddenly see something that is perfect. On one of the evenings after training I went into a JoAnn's Fabric shop and found some buttons shaped like carrots. They were way more expensive than I really wanted to pay but I bought them anyway. They will make wonderful noses for the snowpeople. Other customers must have thought I was a bit loco because I giggled all the way to the register.

new job and other bits and pieces

Well, I have a new job. At least I won't be job hunting for a while. I was, or will have been, unemployed for only two months by the time I start the new gig. I was not at all hopeful when I started. It took me almost 7 months to find the last long term job and almost 9 months to find the one before that.

Last week was a bit of a downer, except for the job offer. I was still looking and seeing nothing interesting. It is amazing how few jobs out there offer little more than a pittance for the body and nothing for the soul. I have had very nice contacts with my new employers which encourages my optimism. I hadn't looked forward to a new job. I merely needed to work because otherwise my cats and I would not eat.

I haven't done much on the quilt for my sister-in-law and I have to get on the stick if I am to have it done before their anniversary. But for some reason I preferred to read. I had two new books: Aaron Elkins' newest (the title of which I have forgotten) and Laurel Hamilton's Harlequin. I had a sense of deja vu with Elkins book. It seemed to combine elements of Make No Bones and Unnatural Selection. That says something when I can remember the titles of previous books but not the one just read. It was a pleasant read but not one of his best. was also not one of the strongest of Hamilton's Anita Blake series. She tried to tie up some loose ends but not as well as hoped. Her best I think was Obsidian Butterfly one of the best horror/mystery novels I can name. Otherwise, I re-read three of the CSI series before giving them to the local senior activity center. Good enough, but not keepers. And I re-read Margaret Maron's Right Jack. It went back on the shelf. I have always loved Maron's Sigrid Harald and I love the growth of the character over the series. I wish she would continue it. I have only read a couple of her Deborah Knot series, but those have never lured me deeper into the series.

correction and continuation

I apologize to poor Paris. I minimized her suffering. She actually spent somewhere between 72 and 75 hours in jail, depending on which report was accurate. Either way that is more that the 24 I mentioned. This story has been going on so long I lost tract of time.

Since then the Judge has ordered her back to jail for the full 45 days less time served. According to MSNBC the Sheriff decided to allow her to serve her time under house arrest all on his own. He further commented that he thought she got a tougher sentence than other young celebrities charged with similar offenses. First point: last I heard it isn't a sheriff's job to change the terms of a sentence. That prerogative belongs to a judge. Second point: it doesn't really matter what he thought of the toughness of her sentence. It is merely his job to carry out the sentence, not adjust it to meet his notions of fairness.

To tell the truth, however, I am heartily sick of all these celebrities acting up, getting loads of publicity, going into rehab, apologizing abjectly and going out to sin again. I am also heartily sick of the fact that I can't get away from them unless I am willing to cut myself off totally from everything else that goes on. The nightly news leads off with these stories and covers them in nauseating detail. Then follows up with blow by blow coverage of the latest fight masquerading as whatever ball game until they are forced to give the scores as the time for the segment runs out. Between the two, and the commercials, we get precious little news.

I wish the mainstream media would take the example of the Kentucky restaurant owner who refused to serve O.J. Simpson Derby weekend. I wish they would 'just say no' to Paris, Lindsay, Brittany, and David (Hasselhoff). But then the networks would actually have to hire real reporters. And wouldn't that be awful. I shouldn't be so hard on the news readers, though. Several times they gave the story their campiest best and even asked if they really had to read 'this stuff.' Somebody, somewhere, has decided that this crap is what the audience really wants to hear. I, for one, don't; but no one is listening to me.